No, i was not pushing that time.

plangette
There is a great backhanded compliment in Joy Williams’s (February 10, 2013) review of Karen Russell’s new book, Vampires in the Lemon Grove. (Incidentally, the title of Williams’s review is “The New Uncanny.”) This is the sentence: “The awful inconsequentiality of the real enfolds them and the unerringly knowing and mischievous planchette that unequivocally belongs to this writer, their creator, refuses to be employed.” Williams is making sense of what she reads as the duds in the new collection. As opposed to some of Russell’s earlier work, remarkably “…sure of itself in the frolic of its strangeness,” the circumstances in some of these stories fail to summon the ghostly cadre Russell is, at her best moments, capable of channeling. And yet, at a time when countless blockbusters of adolescence artlessly lean on monster metaphors as an excuse for writing about young adult desire, Russell tucks her vampires into an Italian lemon grove, making the revenant new again. Likewise, she re-animates that other (everybody wants to) go-to of difference: feudal Japan, with adolescent girls made silkworms–Rashomon-era specters whose shapes shift more esoteric than metaphoric. Williams writes, “Fiction is by definition unreal, and Russell takes this coldly awesome truth and enjoys fully the rebel freedom it confers. The more uncanny the situation, the more sensibly it is described.”
rashomonpaperback

i picked up another book this week that summons the B/black arts: Ian Svenonius’s Super-Natural Strategies for making a Rock ‘n’ Roll Group. Svenonius, of Nation of Ulysses, the Make-Up, and most recently, Chain in the Gang, here follows psychedelia back into the occult, claiming to have only been able to demystify the sleight of hand required to make a truly epic rock group by conducting seances with deceased rock ‘n’ roll heroes: “They [living rockstars] don’t want us at their party. We were therefore compelled to seek the advice of the dead–rock ‘n’ roll stars no longer contaminated by the stultifying climate of competitive capitalism” (18).

tumblr_mgzu5fo1yF1qbn6yjo1_500
Under the guise of testimonies from the other side, Svenonious employs a series of diverse characters to deliver a fantastic piece of cultural criticism and rock ‘n’ roll history. Part Dick Hebdige (the part that doesn’t strip punk of its radical possibility), part Kenneth Anger, part Guy Debord–this is a satisfying manifesto. Brian Jones, Richard Berry, Mary Wells, Paul McCartney, Buddy Holly, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, and Willie Mae “Big Mama” Thornton, the original recorder of “Hound Dog” (1952) who pipes in to reassure readers: “In a country alienated from national feeling such as the USA, where individualist, capitalist ideology strongly dissuades identification with the group and instead encourages sociopathic selfishness and greed, subcultural bonding is a radical act. Without rock ‘n’ roll, it is virtually impossible”–deliver a stunning history of the radical possibilities of rock ‘n’ roll. Svenonius’s potent style of roots rock unleashed disenfranchised voices of rock upon the largely white and male subculture of 90s punks, turning countless kids into unwitting Situationists and inhabitors of the makeshift detournement rock ‘n’ roll at its best can’t help becoming. i always described the Make-Up as Marxist Gospel music, but this leaves out how unironically hot they were.

make-up

For some people, rock ‘n’ roll is a stage. For others, the hard work they did when they chose permanent membership in a subculture might have left them without a map, but something about those shows left them marked–irreparably. Maybe they started bands, found other queers, decided to become academics, dropped out of school, became psychics, dancers, mechanics, waiters, writers, teachers, or acupuncturists. “Some are mathematicians, some are carpenters’ wives,” right? Maybe all of the above, maybe something else, but, if you know what i’m talking about, these books are for you.

wildun

We are the one.

bucky

A few weeks ago, i tagged along with a good friend to a meditation class she regularly attends. Seduced by its practitioners’ encouragements to “wake up” through meditation, i thought it might help with my narcolepsy. i understood that the suggestion is to make it a daily practice, and that some sort of collective experience is also recommended. Being in a room with other people who might have questions about how and what to do during meditation is supposed to make the process less daunting. It also suggests the possibility of building that elusive leap of faith called “community.” Having spent most of my life in school, i am no stranger to the taunt of theory vs practice and theory as practice, to the dialectic, to the deconstruction of false binaries, to the codependency of materiality and abstraction. And not to be reductive, but i am also very familiar with the relationship of practice to necessity–as in the times when practice becomes a necessity as well as the times when necessity blocks the possibility of practice.

zengardening

i enjoyed the meditation, which i guess is not always how beginners respond, but it took me a day or two to realize why it had also been an unheimlich/heimlich (two terms, meaning “unhomely” and “homely” used by Freud to explain the dialectic framework of “uncanny” experiences) incident. My therapist has often warned me that in some scenarios, if something feels familiar, i might be better off heading in the other direction. In fact, learning how to tell the difference between liking something and finding it familiar has been one of the hard lessons of therapy for me. Having bounced around an abandon and then never abandon m.o. for some years now, i have become a supertaster for broken. Even this blog started as a way to pretend that i could refuse loss. i thought that archiving what was missing might keep it alive. Before that, my dissertation was in pursuit of something i called “permanent melancholy.” Giving up or moving on seemed like the ultimate sellout. Whole, safe things reeked of rotten milk and advertising. Busted, with soft scents of burnt wood and booze, i could love it. i collected cinders and tossed kindling outside.

penelope

So, realizing that i had enjoyed meditating, i felt a little panicky. What felt right, and why? The feeling was not unlike the usual bliss i experience when i am doing something most people might interpret as unquestionably “bad,” but i was just meditating, and doesn’t that count as textbook healthy? i finally sorted the recipe: i had been in a room largely made up of punks, but no one was angry. i use punks here very loosely, but i had unknowingly stumbled upon the Dharma Punx. i was in a concrete block room that doubled as a yoga studio and the speaker’s bald head was covered in tattoos. He, as well as everyone else in the room, was dressed casually, and the space was packed. i smelled bodies. And the atmosphere certainly tested positive for broken (lovingly familiar), but for something else soft and unfamiliar. Wayward Council, Wild Iris Books and even the Hardback, teaching, potlucks with my students, cramming into someone’s living room to watch a shitty old VHS copy of Surname Viet Given Name Nam, waking up in the shadow of a housefire, gardening in the middle of the night–Gainesville then–flashed up heimlich. That other feeling was something like, experience without the compulsion to make it count or blame. The possibility of having convictions that aren’t necessarily fueled by aggression or judgement. A space for a kind of permanent melancholy that had no guilt about its unwillingness to transform. The shock that mourning might be possible precisely because “adulthood” was not?